Every month, The Ritual explores one practice that shapes how we move through the world. This month: adornment, and what it means to dress not just for the room you’re in, but for the person you want to be inside of it.
I’m a theater kid at heart. So much of what informs how I dress is what version of myself I want to embody that day. Do I want to feel older, elegant, rebellious, inviting, unreachable, academic… The list goes on. I usually wear the same thing to work everyday. Some version of black and white, dress or pants and a shirt (almost never a skirt), black shoe, and oversized glasses because wherever my eyeballs roam, my prescription follows. What I do get to change is my jewelry. If I need to feel bold, or have an important Zoom we’re in statement earring territory. Donor meetings where I might be shaking someone’s hands? Pull out the rings. A day where I just need to make it out the door and not feel naked? I have a “tight two”. The tight two is a pair of huggie earrings for a little something by the face, and a pendant necklace substantial enough to notice, but easy to wear with quite literally anything I have in my closet.
The tight two is something I’ve been relying on for the past three months. I have worn the same necklace and earrings every single day. It’s a ritual that’s brought me a lot of comfort this year. As I’ve outgrown clothes and worn shoes into the ground, my jewelry has served as a constant. Metal lasts forever. You won’t physically outgrow an earring. This kind of permanence is what I had in mind when I started designing jewelry: pieces that exist beyond a season and serve as a reminder as you grow. That’s when I started thinking about what led me to designing jewelry in the first place.
Offices, Dress Codes, and Uniforms
As a kid I always thought workwear was just about suits… Neither of my parents wore a suit to work, so I’m not sure why I thought that. Maybe I just watched too much TV? But on my first day of my first office job I wore a polka dot sweater, yellow tapered trousers from The Loft, and high-heeled shoes that weren’t built for commuting. What I showed up to was a sea of neutrals, Tory Burch flats with the big Ts on the toe, Rothy’s, and Lo & Sons gym bags. So much gossip in the office revolved around how much someone did or didn’t adhere to the standard of dress. I was pulled aside by an executive director who told me to get new headphones because the skulls on mine read too young, and the size made me look inaccessible. Another director spoke in hushed tones about an assistant's tight leather skirt. We had a seminar on how to dress to be a frontline fundraiser where a person in a senior position told us she would never hire someone that “looked young”, regardless of age, into a front-line position because donors would think they were a student. Other women told me they wore their flashy engagement rings, bigger jewelry, and nice bags on donor visits because people like to give money to peers, so you try to look like “one of them”.
Jewelry As Armor: Being in a Space Not of It
I left this job many years ago, and outside of landing me in therapy, it taught me important lessons about appearance, identity, and community. Yes, what we wear is an expression of who we are, and it also serves as a metric that helps others decide if you’re their type of person. Even if you’re someone who “doesn’t care about fashion” the signals are still being sent. But rather than just dressing for survival, I started wondering: How do I dress in a way that reflects my environment without completely losing myself? Because while some level of authenticity is important (to me), I also needed the paycheck. That’s when I started dreaming up Banks Designs. Jewelry was my subtle reminder that I could just be in a space and not of it. But it was also a way to spark conversation and invite people into my world. So I started this business in hopes that my jewelry would also speak to people who found themselves in similar situations: being a fish out of water that just needs a little reminder of who they are. If that resonates with you, welcome.
This Month’s Questions
What do you put on when you need a reminder of who you are? Is there a piece – a ring, necklace, etc. you wear that serves as a talisman or armor? Let me know in the comments. I’ll be reading them all.
My tight two, the mini thorn huggies and cornrow pendant are available now.
1 comment
WOW!!! I didn’t know, I do understand it. I too have for years, have tried to make a statement about self utilizing jewelry and fashion, my style may not be as flamboyant as some, but I still have a craving for my inner self to be recognize. And as you have stated it could be a little are a lot, but just enough to represent me in that moment are that situation. I totally agree with your assessment.